He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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