Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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