so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
