My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
