Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize