using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
