There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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