Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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