If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
