the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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