the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
