Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
