How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you win again, gameday.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
