I just made out with a guy for $7.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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