If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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