yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
