I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
