Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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