Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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