and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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