It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
