I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs