I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
