hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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