what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
