No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
