I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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