Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize