Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
