I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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