Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
