I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
