If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
