you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
