My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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