I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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