dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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