We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im holly from the hills drunk
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
