Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
