VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
