Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I touched a dick in church today
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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