what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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