How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
