I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
