Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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