Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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