So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
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That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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