the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
