You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
