So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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