My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
