Plan B is the new Plan A
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
