Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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