I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
