Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
