Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
