Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
